The last month of 2009 cast a long shadow over 2010. Darker and sharply defined in the early part of the year, it grew fainter as the months went by. And sure, there were times when the sunlight broke through, but too many of the days were spent in cold darkness.
There have been times in 2010 when I have been surprised at the kindness of people who owed me absolutely nothing, and who deserved better from me. I have been ashamed of myself, in love with love, proud of my achievements, delighted by children, made new friends, said goodbye to others, wept with joy and sadness, sometimes at the same time. I have longed to be able to turn the clock back, or spin it forward just to not feel, for a second, the almost unbearable loneliness and sorrow of being human. But I've also experienced moments of unbelievable beauty, I've learned things the hard way, and I've found that no matter how wretched I might feel inside, there are people who love me in spite of my failings, and people who don't care that I fail, only that I try, and that I pick myself up when I don't succeed.
And now, as the clock runs out on 2010, and I'm reminded that God's favorite joke is when we pray and tell Him what we're going to do in the future, I think that 2011 can be full of light, color, warmth...that something extraordinary, something magical, is around the corner.
And maybe next year *will* be better than the last.
To everyone who has allowed me to share in their year, or has shared my 2010, I love you.
Dunc.x.
Tiredness, NERO, and packing
10 years ago