To leave nothing unsaid... Part I

So I've been looking through my blog, after a friend pointed something out, and I see that they're right: I don't talk about why Jen and I broke up. I'm going to explain it, as fully as I can in this space, and I may get some things at the wrong time -- my memory isn't so good anymore. It may take several days, but it's not like you're not curious...and to make it easier for you, let's add a soundtrack.

To begin at the beginning...



Summer 2000.
After Caroline and I broke up and she had moved out, I went minimalist. Stopped sleeping in bed, slept on a bed roll on the floor. I canceled my cable subscription and spent my evenings reading instead. Or online. I got to wondering who I wanted to talk to, and Jen was one of the names that came up. I searched ICQ to see if I could find her, and on August 14th, she got back in touch with me. And so began the love of my life.

Christmas 2000.
Jen visited me a week or so before Christmas. I took my decorations down when she went home. I have too many amazing memories of that time to write here, and it crushes me every time I think of that first week together.

I wish there were words I could use that would explain how unexpectedly, wonderfully, completely in love with Jen I was. And before any of you jump on that past tense usage, I'm referring to a period in the past, so it's staying past tense.

May 2001.
Jen visited again -- we went to visit the town where I went to high school, took a tour of Warkworth Castle, and we caught the last bus to Newcastle -- except the last bus didn't go all the way to Newcastle and we ended up having to get a cab. We laughed while we waited for the cab - hugging each other in the cold northern England air.



Fall 2001.
From her visit in August until my trip to Atlanta for Christmas (when I proposed), Jen and I had a relationship that consisted of phone calls around 6am, noon, 5pm, 10pm, and midnight-ish. We talked online and emailed, too. And I failed. I missed having someone in my life all the time, and I found someone. And it shouldn't have happened -- and honestly, nothing more intimate than a couple of dates and some kissing actually did happen. But that was enough, that's when I began my first double life.

Spring 2002.
While visiting me, Jen found out about the other woman. I knew I had let her down, and I hated myself for it. And after a long conversation, Jen said that she'd stay. I don't think I ever accepted that she actually forgave me for this, that she trusted me.

On May 30th we finally filed our immigration papers, with a wedding planned for October 5th. We worried that we might not get me there in time, but I assured Jen I'd be there on her birthday. My interview was August 7th, and I landed in Atlanta in the early afternoon of August 9th, Jen's birthday. And I felt that finally my body was where my heart had been for a long time.

Fall 2002.
They wouldn't give me a work permit when I arrived, so I had to send more paperwork to get one. That delayed me getting a job. We lived in a 650 sq. ft duplex apartment three miles from where I sit right now. It was a hard adjustment to make, fitting both of us into that space. But we did it. Jen was working two jobs -- one retail job at Horsetown, and one that was a weekend nightshift tech support job, but she was soon quit Horsetown for OuterBounds (OBT) when she was offered a job in her technology field. She worked the nightshift job and at OBT for probably a month before it became too stressful -- for both of us. And then we got married at Jen's grandmother's house at Lake Burton. I have never been so scared, or felt so loved in my whole life. I was marrying the woman I loved more than anything, and we were going to have a great and exciting life.




Winter 2002.
I got a work permit on November 23rd, and job at Starbucks a week before Christmas, just as a barista, and just until I could find a job doing something more meaningful. I'd end up getting promoted by spring 2003, and put into management training by by the time we'd been married for a year. But we'll talk about that next time.

We'll leave it here, my first Christmas living in America. I was part of a wonderful family who loved me. I had a wife who I adored, and who was so proud of me for getting a job. I have some ideas how things went wrong, and I'm to blame for a lot of them.

I may add pictures if I find some, so you may want to check back later.  :)

Part II, which will cover things up to Christmas 2006 is unlikely to be out before the weekend, but should be up soon.