Self-absorbed and introspective.

The other day I saw a parent explaining to their child that the child had to go to sleep because that's when they grow, like plants, at night. I wish that it stayed that simple as we grow up.

Recently, I've been on my own a lot more, spent more time with myself. It's interesting to me how I got to know who I am, what motivates me, whether I'd be my friend if I was someone else. Sometimes the answers aren't easy to find, sometimes they're not easy to live with. But they're always valuable.

In these moments of quiet, I find myself looking for new music to listen to. New to me, anyway. And the music has a renewing effect on committing to untangling the mess that I became last year.

Making goals for myself was a solid step on the road to recovering the person I'd rather be. Looking outside myself and living, in moments, for other people has made me happier. Closer to whole, maybe.

As an update on my exercise and weight goals...

Weight: 208lbs
5k Run: 27:06 but I was really pushing it and don't think I'll hit that time consistently for a while
BMI: 27.5

I'm not too far away from goals 1 and 3, but the problem is that the more I replace fat with muscle, the heavier I'm going to get. Quite the conundrum.

But worry not, narrowpants, I will figure it out.


If this song is for you, you'll know it's for you. If not, just enjoy it anyway.